Colorado Burning Man Community
are you not burning?
then you are burning (k)not!
this is the first, and quite possibly the last, public invitation to the infamous 5th Annual Burning (K)not Festival (tm). please read the following very carefully. there will be a test.
B(K) began five years ago when a few people decided they can't, for better or for worse, go to burning [CENSORED] in the black [CENSORED] desert in nevada anymore. it has slowly grown over the years from 6 people to over 60. don't ask us how we came to choose a (k)not as the effigy - that's one of those mysteries of life that has been lost to the great memory hole of time. future generations will build great mythologies around it, and it will probably become a religion at some point, much like burning [CENSORED] has.
at burning (k)not, a giant (k)not known as a monkeyfist is stuffed with explosives and bacon and set ablaze. if that doesn't interest you, then you have severe problems of which we doubt anyone can help you with, and we suggest that you find something else to do over labor day weekend. we have enough problems already, thank you.
if this does interest you, then there are a few steps you must take in order to participate in the event (by participate, we mean you need to show up, be yourself, bring some food and some drink, maybe bring some art or whatever you call it, bring camping gear and warm clothes, if you are one of those costume-oriented people, wear it, bring $5 to cover shitter cost, carpool as much as possible, bring condoms porn more bacon booze cigarettes, and be prepared for a weekend of serious fun with friends, both old and new, of questionable morals and even more questionable taste).
step one:
get on the RSVP list by sending an email to bug DOT out AT gmail DOT com which contains the following information:
- your real name
- your 'playa' name, if you are pathetic enough to have one
- your preferred email address for contact
(note: we ask for such sensitive personal information because we make a great deal of money selling it to various law enforcement agencies, and believe us, it takes a lot of money to buy black powder and bacon these days. besides, you are fooling yourself if you think they don't have that info already).
step two:
sit back and wait for the final details and location to be sent to you. note that if any of the above information is left out, you will not be added to the RSVP list, and you will get no further details, and you will sit home alone, miserable and wretched, and you can deal with the nightmare of the DNC on your own.
step three:
profit!!!
we don't have the time or the energy to build a separate vegetarian (k)not this year, and only two people watched that one burn anyway. tofu just smolders - not exciting like bacon at all. plus the best gunpowder is packed full of lard anyway.
please note: no further details of burning (k)not will be posted publicly. you MUST be on the b(k) RSVP list in order to get the location and stuff, and to be cool. seriously. yes, we know we are assholes and we are comfortable with that fact.
but here is some public information we will share with you: the location is about an hour from denver and can be reached easily in non-4WD vehicles. parking is limited, so carpooling is a must. it is at a private residence in a gorgeous area, with plenty of natural and artificial ameneties. we will provide a (k)not, a shitter, and space to camp, but the rest is up to you. overall, it's just like that event way out west, except with less dust and more trees. plus, you can feel better about yourself by not driving so damn far - just think of all the earth you will save!
the event starts friday evening 8/29 and lasts until monday noon 9/1. if you are still here at 12:01 on monday, you will be sold into slavery after your edible parts have been harvested.
attendance must be capped at 60 people, so sign up as soon as possible. you don't want to live the american dream all alone.
remember, you MUST get on the RSVP list as outlined above. this year is NOT a BYO(K) event, and all personal (k)nots will be confiscated at the gate and shipped to needy children around the world. your invite will be taken and cross-checked at the gate, where you will be subject to search, fingerprinting and a retinal/rectal scan. anyone hopping the razor wire will be shot on sight. the perimeter is tightly patrolled by drunken nijnas with itchy trigger fingers. this invite and the subsequent RSVP process can be revoked at any time, for any reason. you accept the high probablilty of injury or death by attending this event. offer void where prohibited.
BE the (k)not.
end transmission.
this is the first, and quite possibly the last, public invitation to the infamous 5th Annual Burning (K)not Festival (tm). please read the following very carefully. there will be a test.
B(K) began five years ago when a few people decided they can't, for better or for worse, go to burning [CENSORED] in the black [CENSORED] desert in nevada anymore. it has slowly grown over the years from 6 people to over 60. don't ask us how we came to choose a (k)not as the effigy - that's one of those mysteries of life that has been lost to the great memory hole of time. future generations will build great mythologies around it, and it will probably become a religion at some point, much like burning [CENSORED] has.
at burning (k)not, a giant (k)not known as a monkeyfist is stuffed with explosives and bacon and set ablaze. if that doesn't interest you, then you have severe problems of which we doubt anyone can help you with, and we suggest that you find something else to do over labor day weekend. we have enough problems already, thank you.
if this does interest you, then there are a few steps you must take in order to participate in the event (by participate, we mean you need to show up, be yourself, bring some food and some drink, maybe bring some art or whatever you call it, bring camping gear and warm clothes, if you are one of those costume-oriented people, wear it, bring $5 to cover shitter cost, carpool as much as possible, bring condoms porn more bacon booze cigarettes, and be prepared for a weekend of serious fun with friends, both old and new, of questionable morals and even more questionable taste).
step one:
get on the RSVP list by sending an email to bug DOT out AT gmail DOT com which contains the following information:
- your real name
- your 'playa' name, if you are pathetic enough to have one
- your preferred email address for contact
(note: we ask for such sensitive personal information because we make a great deal of money selling it to various law enforcement agencies, and believe us, it takes a lot of money to buy black powder and bacon these days. besides, you are fooling yourself if you think they don't have that info already).
step two:
sit back and wait for the final details and location to be sent to you. note that if any of the above information is left out, you will not be added to the RSVP list, and you will get no further details, and you will sit home alone, miserable and wretched, and you can deal with the nightmare of the DNC on your own.
step three:
profit!!!
we don't have the time or the energy to build a separate vegetarian (k)not this year, and only two people watched that one burn anyway. tofu just smolders - not exciting like bacon at all. plus the best gunpowder is packed full of lard anyway.
please note: no further details of burning (k)not will be posted publicly. you MUST be on the b(k) RSVP list in order to get the location and stuff, and to be cool. seriously. yes, we know we are assholes and we are comfortable with that fact.
but here is some public information we will share with you: the location is about an hour from denver and can be reached easily in non-4WD vehicles. parking is limited, so carpooling is a must. it is at a private residence in a gorgeous area, with plenty of natural and artificial ameneties. we will provide a (k)not, a shitter, and space to camp, but the rest is up to you. overall, it's just like that event way out west, except with less dust and more trees. plus, you can feel better about yourself by not driving so damn far - just think of all the earth you will save!
the event starts friday evening 8/29 and lasts until monday noon 9/1. if you are still here at 12:01 on monday, you will be sold into slavery after your edible parts have been harvested.
attendance must be capped at 60 people, so sign up as soon as possible. you don't want to live the american dream all alone.
remember, you MUST get on the RSVP list as outlined above. this year is NOT a BYO(K) event, and all personal (k)nots will be confiscated at the gate and shipped to needy children around the world. your invite will be taken and cross-checked at the gate, where you will be subject to search, fingerprinting and a retinal/rectal scan. anyone hopping the razor wire will be shot on sight. the perimeter is tightly patrolled by drunken nijnas with itchy trigger fingers. this invite and the subsequent RSVP process can be revoked at any time, for any reason. you accept the high probablilty of injury or death by attending this event. offer void where prohibited.
BE the (k)not.
end transmission.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Juanito on -
"yes, we know we are assholes and we are comfortable with that fact."
This line is Priceless
Sure sounds like fun! If I wasn't going to the playa for the first time since 2003, I'd be there.
".... I remember when burning knot was free!"
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Permalink Reply by bug on
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fragile septic system dictates the necessity of a portapotty. sorry - last thing i need to do with my money is pay for your shit to be hauled away. hope y'all understand.
i remember when burningman was free. oh wait - no i don't. i do remember when it was 45 bux tho.
i'll spill some bourbon on the ground in your honor. miss ya, and have fun, sucker!
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Permalink Reply by LuvlyKittie on -
I'll be there to catch it and avoid any alcohol abuse of this nature!
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Permalink Reply by Android3 on -
I'm not burning any knots, at least knot on the weekend of burning not.
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